My latest article has been in the works for literally months. Sigh. I’ve been struggling with my inner demons in the form of grumpy, rude, nasty, and negative. Yep, they are alive and well in this girl’s head and every attempt at writing about General Hospital has left me feeling… well, bitchy.
No one wants to come across bitchy. Wait, scratch that. When my kids give me the mouth that my mom would threaten with an Ivory soap bath or ac ell phone talker cuts me off in traffic, I certainly do want them to know I’m pissed. But as far as with you all, I prefer to be funny, entertaining, and extremely insightful. Okay, okay, I’ll settle for being a good distraction with maybe a chuckle or two thrown in.
Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling my usual giddiness about ol’ Port Charles. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the fantastic performances the actors are putting in day after day. How amazing was it to see the reunion between Robin and family? And to bare witness to the raw emotion and heartbreak from Sonny when Morgan turned on him? It was a three tissue night for sure.
Sadly, my discontent is coming from feeling like my viewer “suspension of disbelief” level is being pushed to Never-Neverland and there’s no Tinkerbell dust to get me back home.
We all know that crazy shit happens on soaps; ridiculous even, but the “normal” cheating-pregnant-by-your-husbands-twin-brother and nine-lives villains have been replaced with story lines that just feel…well, disrespectful to me.
The last time I checked, I actually did have the ability to grasp simple concepts like traffic signals and order off the menu at Chili’s. So when “they” take hard core “I’m-going-to-rip-the-hair-out-of-your-head-if-you-look-at-me-funny Carly” and magically give her Saint-like abilities to forgive the evil monster that was/is Franco, I’m thinking, “Give me a break.” Okay, in reality it was “give me a f#*#ing break,” but my point is the same. The Carly we know and love would have never ever ever have forgiven him, even in her worst decision making moment.
I adore Roger Howarth, but the mad man that was Franco should have been left in a black hole somewhere to resurface later more evil than ever, maybe even with an eye patch and a pet monkey.
Instead, he’s back as some self loathing romantic fool that begs for forgiveness at every turn. Redeemable? I think not, and thank you Michael for finally telling your mom all the things I was thinking. Well, almost all of them anyway.
Thankfully, it’s looking like Franco will have a bit of crazy to show after all. Give Roger his wings, my friends. He deserves his chance to own that psycho blood! (Run Roger. Run.)
The other downer for me has been the repeat story lines. Can we please not have another stolen baby, heart breaking organ donation/dying child story, and drunk/or out of my mind car accident victim? I’m over it. Move on.
Addressing the lovely but promiscuous ladies of Port Charles– I’m not sure what’s in the water there but the “pull-out” method is not a viable source of birth control no matter what he tells you. Trust me on this one. (Wink.) I vote that the next character that has unprotected sex gets Herpes or HPV. It would be a perfect PSA opportunity, then at least there would be a purpose in making me feel stupid.
History may repeat itself in Soap World but there should definitely be a limit on the number of times you can steal a story. Kind of like a white elephant gift exchange…two times and it’s yours forever. Get your half caff vanilla latte with no foam and pick another. You can do it.