The Doctor’s Order

gourmez3By Becca

I am so, so sorry it’s taken me this long to write another General Hospital column. I appreciate my readers very much, but life has just been too busy to get to my GH viewing and writing regularly. I’m going to keep trying, but I can’t promise any regularity in my posting. But I’m caught up right now! And right now, that leaves me so disappointed that Sabrina is pregnant. To be fair, so is she.


sabrina pregnant

We spent the last six months in this same exact situation, Patrick being with one woman while the expectant father for the child of another. He just—just—got Robin back, and I’m not ready for their happiness to be spoiled yet, even if they hinted it would be about fifty times during their reunion with the da…da…DUM of “Nothing can get in our way now!”

happy robin

I still don’t buy that Patrick was as in love with Sabrina as he thought he was, certainly not enough to take a week or so to realize that Robin is his home. But I appreciate how understanding Sabrina has been in all this. Patrick gave her false hope when he didn’t break up with her right away, but she handled the real break up with grace and she’s been so empathic while allowing herself to feel the grief of losing the life she’d been promised. But I was 100% cheering on Felix when he threatened to tell Patrick himself, and I still think he should do it. Haven’t we had enough pregnancies this last year anyway? My uterus shrivels a little every time a new one pops up on the show.

Also popping up…Heather!

heather again

I honestly thought Franco hallucinated killing her, and it looks like that’s what happened. Franco’s psychosis murdering Heather is a plotline I can get behind, a way to redeem him by watching him believe he’s fallen back into killer territory only to discover in time that Heather is alive. But he’s still telling jokes half the time and seems undisturbed by what he thinks he did, so I’m thisclose to again wondering why the character of Franco was ever revived. That Carly could fall for him mystifies me just as much as it does Michael.

snarky michael

Now I’m rarely in favor of invoking that saint of all hitmen, Jason Morgan, but Michael’s use of him to shame Carly was just fine with me. However, Carly calling Michael the fairest person she knows made me gag. Really? Michael?! It’s so weird how much he and Morgan have switched places over the past few years. Part of that was a change in temperament for Michael once Chad Duell took on the role, and part of it is natural character progression—Michael couldn’t remain that ball of charged energy, ready to lunge at anyone and everyone forever. But I never expected quiet, calm Morgan to take on that role or to end up fighting against his family because his feelings got hurt. Morgan seems to understand that he can’t press his limits with Julian like he can with his own father, but I’m really not sure what he’s trying to accomplish with his rebellion. Michael isn’t even in the business, so using the business as a way to get back at Michael or perceived favoritism from Sonny is bizarre. But I did appreciate being reminded that Dante was Morgan’s brother too when he comforted him outside of Max’s room. Yes, yes, he was also working an angle to get the truth about the shooting from Morgan, but it struck me that Dante had a whole half-year to bond with Michael when they lived together around the time of Michael’s trial, but we’ve rarely seen him interact with Morgan. More brother bonding, please! Dante hasn’t done anything to hurt precious Morgan’s feelings quite yet, so this would be an opportune time for that to happen. Commiserating about how much Sonny sucks should come naturally to Dante. And his loft is going to be empty with both Lulu finding herself and his own grief over losing custody of the baby. Morgan could provide a needed distraction for him. I say it’s time for the next round of Corinthos brother bonding! Anyone with me?

Speaking of Lulu, it caught me off guard that learning her eggs had been damaged is what would bring her back to anger at Dante for not supporting her at the trial.

I’m outta here-a!

I’m outta here-a!

I was admittedly surprised that she moved on so quickly from licking that wound to reconciling with Dante and pursuing a child again. But now that it’s crept back out, the anger at Dante is so obviously a crutch for Lulu to avoid dealing with the heartbreak she has legitimately suffered. She almost gave forgiveness to Maxie, but Dante? She can’t forgive Dante? That’s going to cause her so much more emotional trauma in the long run if she holds that perceived wrong close and waters it with bitter tears rather than pulling it out like the weed it is. But maybe she’ll surprise me again and get over it just as fast as she did the first time.

Prescription for Better Soap: Stop portraying Michael as Jason 2.0. They’ve always shared a connection, but there’s no need to invent character traits for him that haven’t existed before. He’s not the fairest in the land, and he doesn’t need to be. Let Morgan get some insight into his need for growth by hanging with his oldest, wisest brother who’s never wanted to be Sonny’s favorite. Don’t tear Robin and Patrick’s happiness from them quite so fast as you seem to want to, and find a way for Baby Makes 5 to be interesting while not demonizing Sabrina. Can anyone say threesome? Maybe it’s time for another GH first! ;)

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’re still out there in the Web-o-sphere!


My newest short story, a Biblical steampunk retelling of the Battle of Jericho, is available for free in issue #131 of Beneath Ceaseless Skies, right here! Follow me on Twitter , Facebook, or Tumblr. Learn where you can read the rest of my fantasy, romance, and horror fiction at my website.

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